|| pee dance
So I've decided I'm going to write in this at least once a week. I was reading through old posts and forgot about almost everything I wrote about. I like that cause I havne NO CLUE what I did last month and nothing to freshen the mind. But anyway.
Quick update since last post:
Havn't talked to Tom since the begining of July.. besides a drunken text I sent him a few months back. When he wrote me back the next day, I realized my stupidness and deleted his number out of my phone before you can say "dumbass" so my drunk ass wouldn't do that anymore.
At Northeastern since August. It's ok. I've met a couple people worth my time. I should be graduating by December of this year.
Christmas was ok, Newyear's was gay... on an end note to 2006: It sucked my ass.
I had my 23rd birthday... woo fuckin hoo.. not a big deal. Went to Hops and Barley.. When did my life become so god damn mundane?
On to the present:
I've been listening to a lot of Bayside lately. Bayside reminds me of Tom becasue of the harsh/brutal lyrics. Therefore I've been thinking of Tom a lot. Can I not? Why is it so hard for me to forget about this scum? Its starting to get pathetic. WE NEVER EVEN DATED! I had a dream about him last night. I was kind of a sex dream.. umm.. i was doing something and ended up with him, just laying there in some room on a bed. I remember wishing he would kiss me.. but he didn't. We were talking for a while and then we were just kissing.. not rough and sloppy, though, very passionatly. Um, that right there must tell you it was a dream casue that doesnt happen. but back to the dream.. that goes on then I walk out into the kitchen and see a woman, and quickly get embarrassed, thinking it was his mom and that I was disrespecting her house by sleeping in the bed with Tom. Who dreams like that? POOF.. be gone from my mind.
I went out to dinner at Marias with Chris last night. They have the best strawberry margaritas I have ever tasted. I got a 20 dollar best buy gift card. It's nice. I kinda wish i could date someone like chris. Not HIM, but someone LIKE him. Our personalities go well together.. we're not afraid to be dumb together.
I found my goddamned camera I've been looking for since september. It was in a drawer in my hallway. How the hell did it get in there? Now I have two. I want to sell it on ebay, but i want like 500 bucks for it. Its not worth that much and no ones going to buy it, so I suck.
I'm going to start selling tons of stuff on ebay. I'm going to pay off this 7000 credit card bill if it kills me. I've been putting a lot of money towards it, so I'm doing my part as much as possible.. Kinda. Maybe I should stop boozing all the time.. then I'd be able to put a lot more.
Actually, I havnt been boozing much, lately. I havnt gone out the past 3 fridays and not really during the week. (with the exception of thursday with Chris, Erika, Miss, Yola and Bret to Hops). Thursday was fun. Chris makes me laugh like a banchee.. he's so funny. He was drinking scotch on the rock and got a little buzzed and fell off his chair and broguht Erika with him.. ha. The whole bar was clapping for them.
Tonight I'm not doing shit. I'm going to clean the hell out of my room. do all of my laundry. Scrub, dust, THROW AWAY. I'm kinda excited for it. Who's excited to clean? Depending if I get done at a decent time.. I may go out.. But most likely not. I'm so sick of the people I hang out with... Theyre becomeing a bore to me as I see some of their other sides. I need to make new friends.. With the exception of a few, of course.
I need a boyfriend.. Thats what it really is. I'm so sick of being the single one. I havn't even kissed anyone sInce neighbor Matt the day before thanksgiving. I'm so fucking lonely it makes me sick. I'm so desperate I even posted an ad on craigslist.. Didnt work. It's been depressing me a lot as of late. I feel like I'm going to stay single my whole life. I just want to be happy. I have no idea where to go.. With valentines day coming up, i just want to go die of lonliness.
I just won 3 dollars on a lotto ticket.. too bad I spent ten on three. grr
I have to be, so im done for the day.